The self-care myth.
APRIL 25, 2019
The phrase self-care has become a bit of a buzz word in our culture lately. We’re told how important self-care is and that we are to practice it regularly - and I don’t disagree. But what is self-care? Is self-care simply taking a bubble bath, eating some chocolate, and going to the gym once in a while?
Those things might have their place, but to understand how to practice self-care and why we ought to, we must know what it is. If taking care of ourselves means trying to escape or numb from the lives we live day to day, that is not self-care. So although taking that bubble bath, eating chocolate, having a glass of wine, or going to the gym may be self-care, it is really important that we check ourselves and the underlying motivation and reason why we do the things we do. Are we trying to escape or is what we are doing for so called ‘self-care’ actually refreshing and restful for our souls?
Secondly, self-care is not a commodity. Many things in our culture today are marketed as self-care - massages, chiropractor appointments, spa days, fancy yoga memberships… the list goes on. The reality is, these things are not accessible or affordable to most. Self-care does not require these things, although it may include it for some.
So then how can we practice self-care?
Set boundaries. We live in a world where we are constantly reachable either by text, social media, phone, or email. This makes it very difficult for our nervous system to ever be truly at rest, which is ultimately what we need in order to cope well and remain healthy. It is crucial that we create space for our bodies to come down from the chronic stress most of us experience day in and day out. So use technology and then don’t - unplug regularly. Breathe. Move. Take time to be in solitude. Express yourself in a way that works for you.
Self-compassion. It is really hard to practice self-care if we don’t actually believe we are worth caring for. If self-care is something you struggle to do, aren’t sure how, or perhaps you think is silly, I would encourage you to ask yourself more about that. What gets in the way of you practicing self-care? What was modelled to you by those close to you regarding taking care of yourself? Most importantly, if self-care feels hard, I would encourage you to validate the struggle and go from there.
So here’s to tuning in and noticing what it is we need to be well, and following that path.